THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

The Three Little Pigs

A Rhyming Play

by Zaro Weil

 

STORYTELLER

Once upon a time, when pigs spoke rhyme

And monkeys chewed tobacco

And hens took snuff to make them tough

And ducks went quack, quack, quack O

There was an old sow now

I don’t mean a cow now

Who wore a pink wig

And had three little pigs

PIG 1

Fat

PIG 2

Fatter

PIG 3

Fattest

STORYTELLER

One day Mama said

MAMA PIG

I love you all three

All three I do

ALL PIGS

And Mama

STORYTELLER

They squealed

ALL PIGS

We love you too

STORYTELLER

Well they kissed and hugged

And danced all around

Oinked and made some happy pig sounds

A chortle a churtle

A gurgle and squeal

Turned in circles and kicked their heels

Now it must have come as quite a surprise

When Mama grew silent and with misty eyes called

MAMA PIG

Little Piglets, Piglets three

Come sit close to me

ALL PIGS

But Mama. Why are you talking so seriously

MAMA PIG

Because it’s time. It’s time You’re old enough

You’re all looking piggy, plump and stuffed

Its time Its time for you to leave home

Piglets three, you’re on your own

ALL PIGS

Oh Mama

STORYTELLER

They exclaimed in most urgent of tones

ALL PIGS

We love it here, Mama

This is our home

STORYTELLER

They cajoled, coaxed, begged, and whined

They pleaded and pouted

MAMA PIG

I won’t change my mind

You see all creatures must leave home sometime

STORYTELLER

Well sadly they left with a tear and a sigh

Waved goodbye to their old pig sty

To that safe and warm place they waved goodbye

They didn’t notice Mama with the tear in her eye

But just as they were treading out the front gate

Mama turned around and hollered

MAMA PIG

Wait

STORYTELLER

All four locked in a warm embrace

And Mama with concern all over her face said

MAMA PIG

Remember this and hear me well

You must all find a home to safely dwell

We pigs have an enemy who’s mean and tough

You can recognise him by his huff and his puff

He’ll pretend to be friendly and wear a wide grin

But he’s a WOLF and he’ll eat you

by my chinny chin chin

STORYTELLER

The pigs smiled bravely

ALL PIGS

Ha ha ha Mama, we’ll be OK

STORYTELLER

But down inside each was scared to go

And they didn’t want the others to know

PIG 1

Heck Mama

PIG 2

Aw Mama

PIG 1

Don’t worry about me

PIG 2

If I meet the wolf then one two three

PIG 1

I’ll let him know who’s the boss

PIG 2

I’ll pull on his nose

PIG 1

He’d better watch out

PIG 2

Cause pigs are tough as well as stout

MAMA PIG

Enough enough

PIG 3

Don’t fear for us Mama we won’t be alone

We’ll protect ourselves

We’ll build a new home

STORYTELLER

One last hug was passed around

And then the pigs were on their own

ALL

Bye bye!

STORYTELLER

After they’d been walking

They all began talking

One to another

PIG 1

Sister and brother, here’s a good spot

A solid plot of land on which to build

Now my best guess is that our house

Should face the West

PIG 2

Sister, I don’t agree

‘Cause South is where I’d like to be

PIG 3

Wait a minute, if we build a place

East is where I’d like to face

STORYTELLER

They argued and shouted all that day

All three tried to get their way

The third pig tried to stop the row

But the other two pigs just stepped on his toe.. ow

PIG 1

Leave us alone

PIG 2

We know what we want

STORYTELLER

And off each went with an oink and a grunt

Well there was nothing more to do or say

So the third little pig she went away

Now the youngest little pig off she did trundle

When she came across some straw in a bundle

She stopped and paused and raised a hoof

PIG 1

I’ll use this straw for a house with a roof

And it’s very very very clear

My house should face exactly here.

STORYTELLER

Well she built that house in a minute or two

And when that first little pig was through

She stood and smiled

PIG 1

Say this looks good

I’ve got the best place in the neighbourhood

STORYTELLER

She kicked up her hooves and did a roll

And into the front door she did stroll

PIG 2

Humph

STORYTELLER

Said the second pig from where he had stood

PIG 2

That’s not so good

I’m going to build mine here out of wood

Yes indeed indeedy yes

My house, my house is gonna be the best

STORYTELLER

He built that house in a minute or three

And then the middle pig shouted

PIG 2

Wheeeeee

STORYTELLER

He kicked up his hooves and did a roll

And into the front door he did stroll

PIG 3

Hmmmmmmmmmmm..

STORYTELLER

The oldest pig thought out loud

PIG 3

My brother and sister are certainly proud

‘Listen Piglets hear what I say

Straw and sticks won’t keep the wolf away’

PIGS 1 and 2

Ha ha ha sister don’t you see

You’re jealous cause you don’t have a house like me

STORYTELLER

The third pig thought and thought

PIG 3

Sticks and straws, straws and sticks

I’m gonna build mine out of bricks

I’ll work hard and I’ll work long

To make my house as strong as strong

STORYTELLER

She built that house in an hour and a day

And when she was done she thought

PIG 3

Say hey

This brick house will

Keep that Wolf away

STORYTELLER

She kicked up her hoofs and did a roll

And into the front door she did stroll

Just then when the third little pig was done

The Wolf came along feeling hungry

WOLF

I am hungry and what I could dig

Is a round little plump little

Fat little pig

ALL PIGS

Oink Oink

STORYTELLER

Came the sounds as clear as a bell

WOLF

Growl

That’s a pig I can tell

What a sound! What a smell!

STORYTELLER

Gently he rapped

Softly he tapped

And with the widest possible grin

WOLF

Open up piggy, I know you’re in

PIG 1

It’s the wolf! It’s the wolf

I can tell by the grin

Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin

WOLF

Look little Pig don’t be a clown

Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff

And I’ll blow your house down

PIG 1

I dare you I dare you

STORYTELLER

Taunted the first little pig

And the Wolf…well…he did

That house that was built in a minute two

Fell to the ground

Away it blew

WOLF

Ah ha

STORYTELLER

Wheezed the Wolf creasing with laughter

His heart all aglow in hungry rapture

WOLF

(RUNNING INTO PIG NUMBER ONE’S HOUSE)

Hello little piggy

(NO ANSWER) Wait! Where can she be?

PIG 1

(HOT FOOTS IT OVER TO PIG 2’S HOUSE AND

KNOCKS)

Open up the door, brother, it’s me.

STORYTELLER

The Wolf he was angry and went over and stood

In front of the second house made of wood

Just then two little pigs looked out

WOLF

What joy What joy

Two pig snouts

STORYTELLER

The wolf he quivered with delicious delight

WOLF

I can eat two piggies if I play things right

‘Open up, Darlings it’s your Mama Pig’

PIGS 1 and 2

Can’t fool us, Wolf. Mama wears a wig

WOLF

Open up the door, pigs

Don’t be clowns

Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and

I’ll blow your house down

PIGS 1 and 2

Go on Go on

STORYTELLER

Cried the two little pigs

And the Wolf, he did

That house that was built in a minute or three

Collapsed to the ground

For the world to see

WOLF

AHHHHHHHHH

STORYTELLER

Wheezed the Wolf, his voice in song

But when he looked around

The pigs were gone

(THE TWO PIGS RUN INTO THE THIRD HOUSE)

With a rage and a fury all over his face, he cried

WOLF

They must be at the other place

STORYTELLER

He sneakily stalked over to see

When he eyed the pigs

One two three

WOLF

Raptures

If I play things right

I get to eat three pigs tonight

Open up Piggies it’s your long lost brother

PIG 3

We don’t have another brother

I already checked with mother

STORYTELLER

The Wolf he stormed and ranted and swore

He pounded upon the brick house door

WOLF

Open up. Open Up.

Let me in

ALL PIGS

Not by the hairs on our chinny chin chins

WOLF

Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and

I’ll blow your house in

ALL PIGS

We dare you We dare you

STORYTELLER

The Wolf huffed and puffed but to no avail

He grunted and groaned until he was pale

He grew dizzy and staggered all around

Finally the Wolf just collapsed on the ground

PIGS 1 and 2

Poor Wolf

STORYTELLER

Whispered the pigs as they stepped outside

But just as they spoke

The Wolf jumped up exclaiming, JOKE

STORYTELLER

Around and around the three pigs fled

Around and around the four of them sped

The pigs escaped inside once more

And the Wolf he howled

till his voice was sore.

PIG 3

Sister, brother, this plan I must call

Here’s how we get the Wolf to fall

I know we can do it

We’re a great team

PIGS 1 and 2

We are We are

STORYTELLER

They snorted with a gleam

PIG 3

Now use your brains

Consult your wits

We’ll gather bits of straw and sticks

And little sister up the chimney you must climb

And poke out your head

PIG 1

I can do that just fine

( SHE SCAMPERS UP AND POKES OUT HER HEAD)

Oh Wooolllfff. Try to catch us this time

WOLF

I’ll get you. I’ll get you

You’re not hard to find

STORYTELLER

Snarled the Wolf as up on the roof he climbed

The pigs light the branches

till a fire burned hot

On top of which they placed a huge pot.

WOLF

Dinner for me. Dinner for me.

Here I come piggies One, Two and Three!

STORYTELLER

The Wolf leapt down the chimney

A mean gleam in his eye

Little did he know he was soon to die

For he met his sad end in a pot of hot water

He drowned and perished forever after.

The three little pigs stood for awhile

Then one by one each began to smile

From a smile to a grin

By their chinny chin chins

Till all you could see was a pile of pink wiggles

They kicked up their hoofs

Rolled around on the floor

And lived together in that brick house

Forevermore